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Hate to break it to you, but summer is not, in fact, endless. Luckily, we’ve got a lot of really good fall outfits lined up, and you can see ’em all in our latest lookbook. But first, get a few laughs in, care of these hilarious extra-short stories by Dayna Evans, inspired by a handful of these men’s looks. (If you’re not familiar with her past micro-fictions, just know that she always delivers.)


“I’m so listening,” Trevor told her. But, like, for real, he so wasn’t.


In this day and age, we’ve lost touch with history’s true entertainers: the jaunty magicians who would carry tricks and treats in their big ole bags to show off to onlookers at the fair while they traveled along the carnival route. Linus—with a bag full to bursting of rabbit’s foot charms he’d purchased on eBay—was determined to bring those days back.


Rory showed up to his best friend’s wedding dressed in all black. “I’m goth now,” he told the bride-to-be when she saw him walking into the venue. “The dress code said black-tie, Rory,” she responded, more than a little bewildered by his decision to wear jeans. “Do you think me—a true goth—cares about your little dress codes?” To prove his point, he pulled another black jean jacket out from underneath a cocktail table and threw it on over the first one. He also had forgotten to write his speech.


“No matter where you decide to go, my heart will love you the same,” Nicky said, hugging his beloved Shih Tzu to his chest. Opening the front door of his house, he shooed the dog outside. “Now be free. Be free!” Ernie didn’t budge, only staring back at Nicky with dopey eyes. “Okay, but seriously, my new apartment doesn’t allow dogs. So scram.”


Damien’s yoga practice had improved immensely over the past three months, his instructor Tanya told him sweetly. She wondered, though, if he might be more comfortable in the hot yoga studio—where temperatures rose to above 110 degrees—in something more lightweight than a full sweatsuit and denim jacket? “I’m not sure I understand what you mean,” he responded, grasping at his sweatpants and tightening the drawstrings of his hoodie. “There is nothing more comfortable than a sweatsuit. And isn’t the point for me to...sweat?” Tanya had to admit: He was kind of right.

Can’t you just see yourself as a deeply committed hot yogi or a wedding guest goth? Go on and shop the whole lookbook now.